The lesser-known milestones:

• Baby can successfully "latch on" to your lips and the cat's paw.

• Baby can impersonate a larva for upward of 15 minutes at a time.

• Pooping baby can be mistaken for an active volcano.

• Baby cries so hard that tonsils become visible.

• Baby pulls out a dozen or more hairs with a single grab at your head.

• When crumbs fall on his or her head during nursing sessions, baby swivels neck 45 degrees to look up.