You're tired beyond belief. Your sexual desire is nil (thanks to readjusting hormone levels, particularly if you're breastfeeding). Your pre-baby days are a distant memory. Just because your doctor says you're physically ready for sex doesn't mean the rest of you is ready to go along, even if your mate is.
Whether or not you feel like making love, you and your partner can still focus on loving one another. According to a University of Wisconsin study, 65 percent of women did some sexual touching with their partner during the first month after childbirth and 34 percent performed oral sex, while only 17 percent had intercourse.
Here are a few common postpartum concerns about sex:
Will intercourse hurt?
If you had any stitches due to a tear in your perineum, an episiotomy, or a difficult delivery, your vagina may still feel tender, and it may be months before the soreness goes away. If you're recovering from a cesarean section, you may still feel sore along your lower abdomen, where you have a scar. The missionary position may put pressure where you're sorest, so consider other positions. If you're breastfeeding, changes in your hormone levels may lead to vaginal dryness. If so, try using a lubricated condom or a water-based lubricant.
Has my vagina been stretched out?
The vagina is very elastic, expanding to accommodate a baby and often returning to pretty close to pre-pregnancy size afterward – but it's normal for it to be larger
than it was before. How much larger depends on various factors: how big your baby was, how many children you've had, and whether you do Kegel exercises
regularly to help strengthen your vagina's muscle tone.
Will my partner still be attracted to me sexually?
If your partner seems distant or less interested in sex, remember that he's going through a lot too. It's likely he's exhausted and stressed by the new demands of having a baby in the house. Talking frankly about your feelings and all the weird changes having a baby brings can draw you closer. If the time's not yet right for sex, you can still cuddle, kiss, hug, and please each other in other ways.